Score: 9

"it's almost 6:30 and I'm very tired"

submission: Jerry: The End

date: November 4, 2009

tl;dr? Sorry.

I found this episode very striking for several reasons. From the original episode to the Junior episode, there's an undisguised, intentional change in story and character aspects, especially the level of character development. However, in this concluding episode, the dial is turned up to eleven as you lay out the true story of poor Jerry's life. At this point, your attitude has changed enough that Jerry: The End, unlike the other episodes, is NOT about the abuse of Jerry, or finding humor in failure.

This cartoon took me on a roller coaster of emotion, to the point of confusion, because of the conflict between your dark, abusive humor and the apparant compassion that you have grown for Jerry and the other characters. Jerry: The End begins with the tragedy of a miserable, neglected childhood, but almost immediately, it launches into a disorienting, illogical monologue, which develops into cheese as the woman giving up her own small child argues passionately in his favor. I guess what I am really saying is: you did lay it on a bit thick. After tragedy strikes again, the car scene is another emotional switch, into a really very honest and touching scene, in my opinion the best in the series. You touch on this tragic realism here and there, and when you do, it is heartfelt and graceful. But you transition out of this mode, to one of over-sentimentality, and the transitions are jarring, because the viewer is attempting to shift between different states of what is reality within the cartoon- different states of suspension of disbelief, I guess. This tells me that you yourself weren't sure what exactly you were going for... kind of the summation of the series, actually- never sure if I laugh at Jerry or feel bad for Jerry, which can throw the viewer into an awkward limbo.

The last scene with the tricycles moves back to the sentimental with an even less plausible emotion than the mother scenes. I did not find the last scene to be without merit; however, it was confusing, because Jerry never seemed to have met Jackie before the first episode. Basically, the ending implies that Jerry will have some lifelong friendship with Jackie, but we know he doesn't.

So after the sunset, I'm reminded- strongly- quickly- what the rest of Jerry's life goes like. Although he's just rode into the sunset, he is actually completely miserable, but totally human, and has such a pointless life that no one cares when he kills himself. Talk about depressing. This moment was very effective in culminating all of the misfortune into what felt like a reminder that I could be as unhappy and pointless as Jerry. That's a powerful moment, and not the way anyone expected Jerry's series to end- the character who was comically misfortunate and hopeless ends up being the object of sympathy.

Not necessarily a bad ending- just very unexpected and somewhat disorienting.

Your commentary was actually really nice except for the apple part, which was kind of annoying. You mentioned that the fbf drawing of the legs pedaling looked choppy, but that's funny because I thought it was intentional, to show the bumpy gravel. Actually it made me smile. And you probably know that your animation is top-notch, but maybe you don't know that the animation of this cartoon is easily superior to that of your others. Your lighting effects (ie cigarette) are ace. The whole thing was very well put together, what with the menu screen, commentary, bonus cartoon, and that fantastic intro.

Jerry's spoken line bothered me. It was obvious that a different, lower-quality mic was used. It stuck out.

Uhhhhh. Oh. I remember I wanted to say this. So the first cartoon of yours that I watched was We Are NativeAmericanCats, which I love. This cartoon has very effective blending of the dark humor and the sensitive realism. That is what Jerry: The End seeks to do more ambitiously but falls a little short. When you combine both of those things as effectively as you did in the former toon, it creates a message and presence of voice that are singular to the one and only HotDiggedyDemon.

Score: 6

"I couldn't get through the whole damn thing"

submission: You Give Job

date: October 12, 2009

Script- pretty funny
Animation- very good

The lack of movement and variation in camera angles made it so boring that I stopped watching towards the end. It held this funny cartoon back about a million points. Also, the characters don't have nearly enough body action to look at and little facial expression. There's not enough sound effects and music- did I hear any at all? So you have lack of both visual and auditory interest that is putting your viewers to sleep! Darn.

Seriously, if it wasn't for these huge flaws, it would be a 9 or a 10. Otherwise, it is fantastic! Please consider these as you make your next toon, because to be quite honest, they are more important than your character design and funny script.

Score: 3

"helpful advice."

submission: tree tut

date: October 4, 2009

Bad grammar, (imo) annoying music, too short, and little value in what is being taught. You're just showing us how you draw a tree. The topic is too narrow to be worthwhile. Maybe if you were demonstrating a Photoshop technique for creating realistic or stylized trees. This one isn't very realistic or stylized and doesn't require a particular technique. Besides that, the friendliness of the tutorial is nice, and the screen doesn't look awful, and it mostly works. (Try pressing replay.)

I wanted to say to you that NOT EVERYONE HAS TO MAKE TUTORIALS.

How many times do I see "Basic button tutorial V.1.1.1" in the portal every day? There's loads of comprehensive, expertly done, professional tutorials. You are a beginner. Beginners do not make tutorials. They use them. No one is needing your tutorials. Your flash efforts are better put to use learning to make games or animations.

Score: 8

"Fun, but lacking something"

submission: Pencilmation #7

date: July 30, 2009

I've been watching all your Pencilmations and the animation is very cute. Your style comes through clearly in the character designs, movement, and storyline. The music is great, nice and simple; I don't know how you found it but it's really perfect. The stripped-down acoustic style matches the drawing wonderfully. All the little sounds bring it right to life. The animation itself is smooth and satisfying to look at, and the two-pane format of this episode is very clever.

At first, I thought the hand would be intrusive, but it's just fine. I like how you showed that it was actually your hand. It adds the extra touch of yourself that helps us remember that this cartoon comes straight from you to us.

I've said all the nice things I want to say, so now I'll address the qualities of your cartoons that I think need improvement.

Every new Pencilmation cartoon has a different little storyline, but they're really all the same. The characters all have the same sort of emotions and obstacles. Every episode, there's the jealous character who is picked on by the animator, who gives him the short end of the deal while he watches the other character have fun. It's always the same jealousy, envy, inferiority, and anger, and the other character gets fat and happy, maybe even gloats. It's repetitive. At first, it wasn't a problem, but it's more than two or three episodes; these themes have continued in every episode.

But not only is it repetitive, it's also overall negative. One of your characters is always upset in some way, and it's usually not his fault, but someone... bullying him. Some humor is coming from the silly stuff happening and the silly drawings, but a lot- if not most- is coming from laughing at the character's misfortune. It may be funny, but it doesn't give us the fuzzy feel that other cartoons of this style do... it's kind of mean.

I understand that they're just shorts, but you should develop your little characters more. They really are all the same, except for some differences in appearance. You could give them funny traits and then use those to create humor. You could use funny personality traits to create more of the physical humor, too.

Anyways, I don't want to sound too critical. I'm rating this 8 stars! Just don't let anything prevent your talent for animating from shining at its brightest.

Score: 4

"not really."

submission: Takuto: Chapter 0

date: June 19, 2009

I'm not sure exactly why this is so hard to follow, but it is indeed. Some is because your drawings are UNFINISHED. It's not that they're "imperfect", they're unfinished, buddy. The music is completely inappropriate and it moves ridiculously slowly with all of your slideshow motion tweens. There's no action! No movement!

You NEVER put the words "narrating" in a speech bubble! I don't even know why you HAVE speech bubbles. Why? What are they for? For the deaf viewers? Okay.

Your spelling/grammar is poor.

Good scanning and recording quality. I'd like to mention, though, that the teacher sounds ridiculous. She sounds she's in porn.

Your use of story elements is promising, but you seriously need to work on your entertainment factor. Maybe study some animations. Even your dialogue was way off.

Score: 4

""ruffians" is a great word"

submission: a Pair of Ruffians

date: June 8, 2009

Look, you can draw well and have a nice sense of humor, but you're not letting your animation... well, reach up to its potential!

It was hard to make out what was happening. It was hard to turn the black shapes into characters and movements.
-Use colors.
-For pete's sake, use a smaller brush.

You may have to tighten up your drawings. They're really good, all the movement and whatnot, but maybe you'll have to clean them up and make it a little more defined. Even if you're not going for a real fancy finished product (and you should, right?), a little more work might be necessary just to see the drawings clearly. This is storyboard quality sketches.

Consider sound effects. They add so much life.

Good use of music and titles... terrible use of bad grammar and Times New Roman. Draw a god damn speech bubble or something. That's cheap and it looks like crap.

Even if you aren't using a setting, consider a basic background, simply for visual interest. Like, I don't know, a fuckin' b+w gradient or something.

Basically, it seems like you've finished with this animation, but it doesn't look finished. You've got so much great drawing. Polish it up, finish it up with these things.

Score: 3

"Passable"

submission: A Button Tutorial

date: April 24, 2009

This is passable, but before you make more tutorials, you need to have a more thorough knowledge of AS.

Also, this was poorly organized. Somehow I got all the way to the end of the tutorial by only clicking one option in the menu, which I never came back to. I ended up in a black hole when I clicked Back at the first frame off your menu, and when I clicked Help. I assume there was supposed to be music but that didn't work- isn't this supposed to be about using buttons?

Anyways, there's tons and tons of people who are experts at AS, and so many tutorials. Everyone seems to think that they have to make the simplest button tutorials as soon as they have a basic understanding (likely from watching another tutorial...?)

I'd give you a four if it weren't for your poor explanations, specifically of what Action Script is and what buttons do. Buttons can do pretty much anything. You elaborated later, but it's still misleading. You are no authority on buttons because you've shown you need more practice with them yourself.

Score: 3

"good god, are you kidding me?"

submission: Humanz 1

date: March 16, 2009

The first thing I noticed was that you basically just shat out some scribbles. That's not drawing. That was three rectangles with flashing dots for eyes. You did animate their faces but it looked like you could have really done a lot more with a little more time and effort, okay? So why didn't you put it in here? At least you used tolerable colors instead of green, cyan, yellow, and black.

You did not use dialogue. Instead you used sound effects, almost all of them from an audience we can assume the characters are performing for. So.... the guy farts, and the audience laughsandlaughsandlaughsandlaughs for ten fucking minutes until we wonder if they will ever stop. And then he does it again, and they do it again. And then it's over. That's not a joke, guy. We're supposed to laugh, not the imaginary audience. Listening to layers and layers of laughing people doesn't make me laugh. The fart joke alone- without the laughing- was on par with Terrance and Philip, who are a satire. You have to have more. More content. You can fit a solid joke in the length of time I waited for the imaginary audience to put their heads back on and wipe the tears out of their eyes, but this wasn't it.

Come on, Humanz? with a z? That's so cheesy. And it's also ironic, because they weren't human at all. They were a gag, like Terrance and Philip.

It really looks like you can do more. Though you had an unusual overuse of sound effects, it means that you can use sound effects well- like in your intro. The music matched well. And as for your characters, their facial movements throughout is another crucial concept that you, as an animator, understand completely.

So do more. I just wanted it to end.

Score: 3

"Neat"

submission: Circle Generator

date: December 29, 2008

Well your generator is really neat and I appreciate the work and beauty of the code but it's just not very ENTERTAINING, you know?

Score: 6

"Well I DID like it."

submission: KPFOD

date: November 5, 2008

It may be a simple game, but it's done with effort, care, style, and humor, and for that, you, sir, deserve a handshake.

(enough commas there for ya?)